I Admit it. I’m a Semi-fascist.
Imagine that. It took a semi-cogent politician to diagnose me. Wasn’t long ago I was diagnosed as a ‘deplorable.’ That hurt. Maybe I was in denial so I didn’t vote for her. Before her, I was told I was ‘bitterly clinging’ to things. I might have voted for him, but I don’t remember.
Just the other night, the leader of a semi-free world offered up his expertise while using a teleprompter and a large, red-lit government building with two fine-looking marines standing guard as his backdrop. From this stage, the president of the semi-united United States suggested we best have just a single party because the other party is full of reprobates, malcontents, and semi-fascists. In stark contrast, his party is a party of people who care deeply for those who will happily exchange a vote for passing on their school loans to the taxpayers.
His party also cares deeply about the plight of illegal immigrants until those who sneak in are unloaded in one of their single-party cities. Evidently, Chicago and New York and Washington DC don’t much care for folks that show up uninvited in need of food and shelter.
Beyond my semi-fascist comprehension, it must have been compassion that motivated his party to load up the tax collection arm of our semi-democratic country with collectors and agents. Many will be given semi-automatic weapons in case the other half, the semi-fascist half, was to dare disagree.
Imagine that. They must imagine me and my malcontented friends to have all barricaded ourselves behind our wagon wheels and the doors of our semi-mid-century ramblers ‘waitin for the revenuers’ to show up and demand the tax be paid on my government pandemic handouts, disability payments and social security checks. That’s when they think the shootin begins.
No worries. Hopefully, someone will honor my last request and pay for my semi-cremation (The cult I belong to suggests that we cremate half our bodies and bury the other half just in case there is some breakthrough technology that will allow us to return to earth. It is difficult to decide which half goes where as both my halves have problems).
As an honorary ‘domestic terrorist’ (in this essay), I supported the millions of moms and dads who believe their children should be educated, not indoctrinated. I also support educational choice, unlike those who wish only government schools to exist.
Like many of my fellow boomers, I was appalled that smart and experienced scientists and others were denied an opportunity to contribute their considerable expertise in our collective hour of need. They were denied a voice as a result of a collaboration between the government and social media companies. Still today, we’re told that a party used government semi-thugs to squash news stories suggesting unseemly and unethical behavior by the son of the party head.
Now, I must sadly accept the diagnosis of being a ‘semi-fascist.’
Acceptance is the first step in any recovery from a pathological condition such as ‘semi-fascism.’ Knowledge is the next step, I think. So I started by looking up the definition of ‘semi.’
Sem-i: a tractor-trailer; or not the final game but the one just before it; or a home that is not completely attached. This is not particularly helpful.
So I decided to search the term ‘semi-fascists’ using the Bing search engine This is what I got.
Perplexed but not giving up, I look up the definition of just ‘fascism.’ I struck gold.
fascism; a political philosophy, movement, or regime (such as that of the Fascisti) that exalts nation and often race above the individual and that stands for a centralized autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader, severe economic and social regimentation, and forcible suppression of opposition- Merriam-Webster
Ah… that describes me to a giant ‘T’ with just a few exceptions, which is where the ‘semi’ might come in. The exceptions relate to things like pandemic lockdowns which I was not a fan. I thought the government a bit autocratic when it attempted to force an injection by threat of economic devastation. The ‘get poked or lose your job’ dictate was an exercise in semi-tyranny. The government didn’t line you up and shoot you but to lose your job or be forced into early retirement was something a semi-dictator would do. Today we suffer from semi-ineptness. A serious shortage of pilots, doctors, and waiters, and humor characterize this once great country.
I look around at all the other ‘single party’ countries led by dictators in the world, and I see dysfunctional autocratic rule causing untold misery. Their countries are the least accepting of various races, sexual orientations, or political discourse. They outright ban the use of social media or tightly control its content. They first call their political opponents’ names, raid their homes, and then jail them. Some are never seen again.
Closer to home, I’m able to observe single-party states. They generally share characteristics like high tax rates and large populations of impoverished, homeless folk and the strictest of pandemic lockdowns (the governor of Washington continues to hang on to his emergency powers).
They come down from their estates just long enough to proclaim just one kind of car will be allowed to be purchased by 2035. But please do not charge your electric car between the hours of 4 and 9 pm as they’re experiencing a power shortage. So far, it is just a ‘please.’ Very semi-autocratic.
As a semi-fascist, I try to imagine, project if you will, how I’d frame a speech if given the opportunity to give one. Red, the color of power and blood would be good. Marines, a symbol of ruddy, ready men bristling with big guns, would stand next to me. And a large government building suggesting the little people be afraid, perhaps a building housing thousands of semi-armed IRS agents would send the message that I mean business. All these props hopefully would camouflage my ineffective semi-leadership skills. Then I’d call my political enemies names from the pulpit. Even if they mean ‘nothing.’